Trial And Error

Trial and error: Experiencing something only to find either humanity or an individual’s society deems the experience inappropriate or harmful. That would be my definition anyway. It would also be the whisper behind my actions until know. I always thought of life as a time period full of mistakes which had to be learned from. I became accustomed to hearing,

“Brush yourself off and try again.” I tried.

I heard, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” I believed them.

“Roll with the punches!” they would advise. I tried harder. This way of idealizing my actions became natural. As natural as inhaling or exhaling.

In other words, when I fuck up, I learn the consequences, when I fuck up again, I re-learn the consequences and this continues until, out of shame or punishment, I pump my brakes on making the same “mistake.”

This method of learning is faulty and unproductive. My man Lao Tzu said it right, “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” Today this quote, aside from sounding slightly cheesy, carries a strong relevance and a simply simple message. If life is the ‘journey of a thousand miles’ and a ‘single step’ is what we think of as a mistake then I would like to think there are no mistakes. Only steps. No regrets. Only steps. No error. Only steps.

The thought alone creates a smile on my face. Take your steps, sometimes you’ll trip, but the climb never ends. The higher you are, the better the view. ;) It’s the same with a scientific hypothesis. Before the the correct hypothesis there are the duds but without the duds there would be no success.

Recognizing my actions as steps rather than 'mistakes I must learn from’ has uncovered expansive clarity and confidence within me. I challenge you to make a change today. The moment you say something you feel regret over or maybe you screw someone over and wish you hadn’t, see it as a step to a higher ground. Reflect on your action and use it to power you up and beyond. Always make a positive act following a negative... AKA: Smile at a kid, or pay someone’s expired meter. Let go of rusty methods of learning and find more productive ones. Enjoy!

Portland Short Story

a short story...

She woke Christmas morning, empty wine bottle in site. With one roll to her side, she split the blinds with her fingers to peer outside; a habit she picked up the day the snow began to fall. A smile crept upon her lips to see rain drops melting away the soft powder.

Bundled tightly, camera in hand, she ventured outside sloshing, crunching and slipping as she walked. She was alone on the street. This was, after all, Christmas morning. Bruised, swollen skies loomed above her and she wondered how the locals maintain their optimism.

As the thought swirled in her hollow mind a burst of vibrant purples caught her eye. Sitting lone in the ice was a berry vine, almost too beautiful against the gray slosh. She stared. Ice was melting off one berry cluster, droplet by droplet.

Snap. Snap. The camera sang. Echoing off the snow around her, the clicks were thunderous. Onwards.

























She approached a bridge where a freeway buzzed below. For a moment looking out towards the sky, melancholia collided with wonder. Sunlight broke. The first in weeks. Her eyes closed as she melted into each ray. The sky drew it's curtains and she walked home.

Where The Hell Is Matt? Here he is!

Matty, Matt, Matt. He dances like Jiminy Cricket, wears wrinkled khaki shorts, and has danced in over 100 countries with the lovey locals. Before his fame for his travel dancing internet video, Where The Hell Is Matt?, he developed video games in LA, CA and Brisbane, Australia for X-Box. X-Box wanted to develop video games with pimps, pistols, bombs, theft, and prostitutes and Matt said buh-bye.

Matt grabbed what money he had saved and decided to travel the world until the money was no more. A buddy in Hanoi sparked an ideas which is now a phenomenon. He asked Matt if he could record Matt dancing his "Matt dance." Well, he did dance and he did put it on the internet. His prelude to fame is this, "That guy who dances on the internet. No, not that guy. The other one. No, not him either. I'll send you the link. It's funny."

Strident gum sponsored him to dance around the world. The first year he danced only in front of the world's greatest landmarks, monuments, and natural phenomenons. The response from around the globe was so overwhelming he went back to Stride, showed them the 1,000s of e-mails he had received, and asked if they would sponsor him again... this time he would dance with people. Ask and you shall receive.

Matt is cool. Over 14 million people have downloaded his video. E-mail him hello, watch his videos, support his ideas because he is all for travel and bringing communities together... to dance!

Vocabulary Inspiration

Flippin' A, is an expression I'm known to use when frustrated. ;) Today, I decided to discontinue my use of the term considering it holds no meaning, at all. The root of my habit probably grows from my mom scolding me, "No f-word!" Lo and behold, I only use the "f-word" in her absence... which is common seeing as how I move quicker than the wind blows. Point being, today I challenge you to contemplate your choice of words. Juice up your vocabulary. Be slickly sly about it, not presumptuous. Expand your vocabulary to express yourself not to impress yourself.

Delectable words to use today and always:

Elusive: Difficult to define or describe: "Failures are more finely etched in our minds than triumphs, and success is an elusive, if not mythic, goal in our demanding society" Hugh Drummond.

Infatuate: To make foolish; to affect with folly; to weaken the intellectual powers of, or to deprive of sound judgment.

Inspire: To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence.

School House Rock's, Preamble To The Constitution

Dino Mike, the Friday night Kareoke DJ of a pub I once bartended for, compiled a CD of all the School House Rock tracks and surprised me with it as a gift. School House Rock was a kick ass 70s cartoon which educated kid's and many times adults about counting numbers, learning the constitution, and passing bills. The CD is one of my prized possesions and now I MUST re-introduce School House Rock to you and serve them some justice! You've seen the cartoons I'm sure, but not for years! I chose the, The Preamble To The Constitution, cartoon to brush you up on your knowledge of the good ol' USA... important now more than ever. You must see '3 Is A Magic Number' so I embedded that video too... can't help it, I love School House Rock! Have fun on your stroll down memory lane!

When I Join The Circus, What Will They Say?

Hmmmmm...

Swinging or flying trapeze, falling or jumping, twirling aerial silks or juggling...

I'm curious... do these activities and talents intrigue you?

Do they tease you in the slightest beckoning you to, say, join the circus or possibly enroll in flying trapeze lessons?

Is your answer no? ;)

If your answer is no, it may be because the thought of partaking in what, as a kid, seemed untouchable yet deliciously inspiring and mesmerizing was just that...untouchable.
But, I've made it my mission to get the word out on the street, lessons in the circus arts are a tangible dream with magical circus masters of the flying trapeze, aerial silk, tight rope, and juggling!
I'm determined to make this super appealing to all damnit! ;)
Just for you, I've researched painstakingly (hahaha...I knew of these schools prior to writing to you) all the locations where lessons are available. Below are their linksand I WILL be adding more. I believe flying trapeze lessons may make for an awesome date. Who knows?!
Devour these sites, phone the magicians and masters, and go take lessons at one of these independent schools! I will be attending in San Francisco shortly!!!

CIRCUS CENTER, San Francisco

Trapeze School New York, TSNY Brooklyn

Trapeze School Los Angeles, TSNY



Focus Fish, Santa Monica

Blockbusters And Bubblicious Bubble Gum

Imagine chewing three different flavors of gum...here are all 22 flavors of Bubblicious, pick three and this is how i’ll explain my peculiar analogy today:

* Original
* Cotton Candy
* Savage Sour Apple
* Blue Blowout
* Strawberry Splash
* Watermelon Wave
* Twisted Tornado
* Sour Mania
* Orange Outbreak (discontinued)[1]
* Bursts with Thunder
* Gonzo Grape
* Paradise Punch
* Island Squeeze
* Sour Cherry (Bursts
* Original (Bursts)
* Radical Red (discontinued)
* Tropical Tango (discontinued)
* Bahama Blast (discontinued)
* Lightning Lemonade (discontinued, then re-introduced)
* Frantic Fruit
* Kickin Cola (discontinued)
* Lebron’s Lightning Lemonade

Let’s now turn those three flavors into Blockbuster Inc., their "no late fees" marketing campaign, and my business moral and chew them together. Wtf, right? Doesn’t taste like Lightning Lemonade, Tropical Tango, or Gonzo Grape...it has no one, distinct flavor.

"Yes Emily, I can understand the relation of Bubblicious Bubble Gum to your strange mix of a major mogul corporation, their skills, and your thoughts but get to the point." OK. This is why is doesn’t taste good: Blockbuster Videos, the most profitable video rental company in the world, cut out late fees in 2004. Netflix had just arrived and was becoming a leader in video rental...online and straight to the mail box comes a video. Blockbuster felt this hit of competition, probably for the first time in it’s history and realized

1. Our customers hate us

2. They hate us because of late fees

3. Netflix has excellent customer service ratings and we don’t

4. We don’t rent online and we need to start. So, what do they do? They cut late fees, a $250 mill- $300 mill a year loss in profit ( ya, that’s right- that’s what all our late fees added up to ya’ll) and start Blockbuster online. Their marketing campaign was around $50 mill to let us know, HEY EVERYONE, WE WONT BE STEALING OUR LOYAL CUSTOMER’S MONEY ANY LONGER( $300 mill) BECAUSE, WE CARE NOW AND HAVE TO MANY LAWSUITS AGAINST US!

They said, "no more late fees", kept their 2 day and 5 day rental agreements telling their customers it is more of a "honesty policy" now but in small print you agree to purchase the movie after 7 days of no return. This will be refunded if the film is returned in 30 days. So, those are two different flavors: Blockbuster inc ( Gonzo Grape), Their public image campaign (Tropical Tango), and here are my Lighting Lemonade thoughts: I was thinking about how great I could be in marketing for these huge corporations...top profits, researched campaigns, witty slogans, fine print, expensive lawyers, and quick reflexes.

Then, as I was thinking about it I recognized the point where my own creative, witty, intuitive response to a business challenge crushed up against my innate, conditioned, greedy solutions. There is a point in business (life even) when, usually without noticing it, the individual creative drive and fire dwindles to a heated flint, and greed floors everything. The typical example is a company trying to save face by paying major bucks to repair their image without any truth behind the cash.

FINE PRINT. The greed, drive, competition, and need to survive is in everyone in varying quantities AND in my opinion is forgivable on many accounts. This is how we learn. It seems to me though that due to the supreme amount of dough some companies have, no lessons are learned because the greed is too thick. So, I’ve been chewing on these 3 flavors of Bubblicious today and they don’t mix. I’m ready to spit it out. I prefer a pure flavor over the combo that no one can distinguish a flavor for.
I’m happy to inform you that I’m happy to have learned the 22 flavors of Bubblicious today.

Love, Em

Let Me Introduce My Boyfriend Andrew Bird

Oh Andrew Bird, your dorky personality is quite sexy and your bird whistling is new territory in the music world. If only MORE people could hear your tunes. My i-pod never becomes rusty playing Imitosis and my feet always float above the sidewalk when I whistle along.

You pack a peddle bike on your tours and your tour bus operates on bio-deisel. I think you're cool.

So is your video for Imitosis directed by Britta Johnson and produced by Xan Aranda using recycled granny jewelery and an 8 mm:
.


Keep being unique my friend!

Damn Crazy Monkey In My Head

There are few who are excluded from freakishly fast, racing monkey thoughts. I mean, come on... blue cheese on crackers sound delicious and oh, the sky is blue too and this cheese is made from a goat which wasprobably harmed in the process which I saw a documentary on Monday night through PBS... they have cartoons in spanish and I 've been wanting to learn since the world is now a big melting pot and pot is being sold in LA vending machines...wtf...why leave the 8 extra letters out on wtf I mean who started abreviating english into jibberish and is jibberish a word derived from Judism or is a word created through our experiences because eskimos have like more than 100 words for snow and I don't...but I've never been to Alaska, maybe I can catch a flight... wait, why do that when Portland is already snowed in and I can make words up here in my new city that I drove to from Tucson in a rampage because my mom is crazy and I'm not...is it hereditary... crazynness... no that's totally just her and she always tells me to stop using the terms, "totally, wanna, gonna, gotta, haveta, like, and whatever" but I don't listen because I think she's crazy and I face planted in the snow yesterday walking 25 blocks in a blizard after my bus broke down and kinda missed my mom but she's still crazy but my cell is ringing maybe I should grab that...

My Best Friend, My Lily

They say silence is a virtue. While I bow down to yummy solitude and golden silence more than most, I've been slapped in the face recently. After traveling solo for a year throughout the world, I've found hidden reserves of love and respect inside myself. The unbreakable strength, tear inducing laughter, and binding love of a friend I met years ago slapping around sloppy tennis balls on the college courts has impacted my life so dramatically and beautifully birds don't fly this high. Our words swim around us when we speak and my love of solidarity is momentarily paused. Together we spin heads traveling through Mexican villages, Turkish bizzares, ancient monasteries, pubs of plenty, and butterfly gardens. Light loves us, we beam it up Scotty. I love her dearly and respect her truly...after all, she sends me homemade vegan chocolate chip cookies in the mail when I'm far away. Friendship. Lily, my Lily, filled my life with the friendship people can only dream of.
Thank you my Lulu and may all your wishes be granted always and forever.
Love, Em

Dristi Yoga, Santa Barbara Love

Once upon a time I worked with Drishti, Santa Barbara, CA's yoga portal.

Portal: a grand and imposing entrance (often extended metaphorically); "the portals of the cathedral"; "the portals of heaven"; "the portals of success"

Jennifer Rawlings, a young and unforgettable woman whom oozes kindness and laughs with the most contagious fever, molded, inspired, and founded Drishti, the Santa Barbara yoga boutique that's touched oh-so many people, yogi or not. She's that cool person who's aware she's injecting scrumptious goodness into the lives and communities of many. The delicious part is, she creates and allows the space for her friends, employees, and customers to become inspired, make a change, and fly higher than they ever thought possible without touting any fame or influence.

I am truly inspired by Jenni and her influence on my life has been infinite and has fulfilled a deep void which was screaming for authenticity, truth, and equality. This is about as sappy as I allow myself to be... I am a better being because of Jenni's ways. As an employer she offers her best...her best! As a friend, she is the most fun loving, dorky, giggling, informed, educated, community involved, warm buddy ever!

Support her and other businesses like Drishti that work with our communities and strive for positive change!
Purchase yoga books, music, clothes, DVD's, yoga mats & more fun yoga related products and inform yourself on current issues we face as a nation and funny yoga tidbits with the Drishti Blog!

Love, Em

Perplexities Of Human Action

The perplexities of human action have always had me on a leash. I become totally infatuated with people’s methods of interaction with one another and the way they carry out their daily tasks. With that said, I’ve always taken on jobs where I can see and be a big part of this interaction from every angle. I dig it...the more people I meet each day, the more I dig it.

Get to the point Em: Gyms. At 17, I began sales, teaching groups classes, and personal training at a local health club and have done the same at a billion different health clubs since. Quickly I learned that a large majority of the people I sold or trained were gym-ing it to make new friends or meet "women", "men", "chicks" or "dudes" and it was more important than the actual health benefits from the exercise.

PERFECT...I knew how to sell these people exactly what they wanted and my sales records over the years have shown it. I would introduce people to people and connect friends and lovas;) but my infatuation with the ones who didn’t try meeting new people on their own kept growing.

Picture this: You have a big gym, big windows, and there are 30 treadmills lined up in two rows in front of one of the windows. The treadmills are less than a foot apart on each side and each one is taken. Everyone has i-pod chords hanging out of their face and is looking straight ahead, running. Each tread has a personal TV so many of the runners are watching something. You notice that some of the people who’s goals are to meet others are among the group of plugged in runners. They’ve taken a tread next to someone they think is attractive or nice. Who’s mingling? Who’s interacting? Not one person. Everyone is running in place, on a running machine, in the same direction, not moving forward, pretending like no one is around them. Key word: Pretending. I’ve seen it over, and over, and over, and over and it just becomes more fascinating and bazaar.

Then I see it coming. I end up having the same conversation over and over..."God, I really like that hot chick." and I ask, "What’s her name?" and they say, "I dunno. I haven’t talked to her." UNPLUG! This same thing applies at jobs, schools, on the streets, in line at the bank...we pretend we’re not surrounded by people. We’re feeling lonely when there is someone sitting next to us. The last time you went to deposit money, did you look the teller in the eyes? Did you smile at the little 5 year old dude swinging on the line ropes while his mom was telling him to stop? Have you ever wanted to look at someone in the eyes while you were walking by but didn’t?
It’s no secret everyone ignores everyone. I get a kick out of all the make believe. Just understand, it’s silly to tell me you want to ask someone out yet have failed to strike up a conversation and find out their name! It’s silly to go to the gym 5 times a week after work and run next to the same person for a year and not say "what’s up". It’s silly to walk by people and pretend they’re invisible! Shake people up, get to know them, don’t be afraid of people...they’re just people. ...So anyway, what have you been thinking about today? ;) Love, Em

Portland, Oregon Weather Warrior Woman

Hi Portland,

As I look outside my window I see my car with Arizona plate deep in 1.5 ft of snow, public transit has shut down, and Portland is being served it's, "most extreme winter weather in 50 years." I have yet to grab some kid and slide down the hills of Mt. Tabor, the beautiful park I live at the base of.

Check this out...

I hopped a bus to a dinner party Saturday night and on the ride the weather turned into a monstrous beast. The bus in front busted it's snow chains, and my weary bus driver informed us passengers he needed to ‘remove himself from the bus' and did just that. This was my first experience with the well respected public transit here in Portland and I realized it was quite an unusual day for the city.
The bus driver calmed himself eventually and resumed driving closer and closer to my stop, inch by inch.
I said thanks and take care of yourself to him while hopping of at my stop only to have him as a driver again 6 hours later after my dinner party in even worse conditions! His eyes were sunk in, his face was pale, and only one other weather warrior other than myself was on the bus. Then... the bus breaks.

On my 25 block walk home in a blizzard, I thought, among many, many thoughts, of the flip-side to my situation. My conclusion was, the best part of my situation granted me the privilege of sharing with others how, "I walked 25 blocks in Portland's worst blizzard during the United States recession in 2008." Sounds slightly gripping and inspiring, right? If not, please let me know so I don't make an ass of myself again.

Happy Holidays!
Love,
Em

Here is how crazy the situation is and although this is a 'classic' video from a few years ago, it perfect for the occasion!: